Episode 31: Emotional Intelligence and Empathy (In Demand Accountant Part 4)
Sam covers another element of the In Demand Accountant: emotional intelligence and empathy. But this is not your usual emotional intelligence and empathy training!
Sam discusses the fact that these two skills can actually be learned, and how they will make you a better accountant and advisor. She explains definitions of both emotional intelligence and empathy, plus the sub skills that you need and how you can develop them.
Sam also shares a number of personal examples and real life stories of how she has applied and developed this in her life and work. She finishes the episode covering some common ways accountants get empathy wrong, why it matters, and what to do instead.
Listen to an excerpt
What we cover in this episode
What emotional intelligence is and why it matters
How “soft skills” will make you a better accountant and advisor
The four areas where emotionally intelligent people excel
How building emotional intelligence helps you be more efficient and effective
The three emotional intelligence sub-skills that you need and how you can develop them
Tips and tricks to put this into our every day life
The power of self-awareness, mindfulness, reframing, knowing your emotional triggers and celebrating your positive emotions
Real life examples of how Sam has applied and developed this in her life and work
What empathy is and why it matters
The difference between empathy and sympathy
The steps we can take to develop empathy: be kind, be curious, listen don’t fix, affirm people
Common ways accountants get empathy wrong and what to do instead
Quotes
“Emotional intelligence and empathy are both abilities. They are not traits, which means that they can actually be learned and developed.”
“The emotionally intelligent person is good in four areas: identifying emotions, using emotions, understanding emotions, and regulating emotions.”
“If you can actually manage your own emotions, and this means you can actually dismiss or ignore or regulate any kind of unproductive ones when they're not instrumental to what you're actually doing, you just become more efficient.”
“I know from experience that a lot of the stuff that blocks people's decision making processes are around emotions. So emotional intelligence as an advisor becomes extremely important and it's one of the key skills that we need to develop.”
“I actually ask for feedback, because without feedback I wouldn't be where I am today. Constantly curiously asking clients, peers, staff ‘what could I do better?’ has really changed and accelerated my growth, particularly around the emotional intelligence. But 5-10 years ago, I couldn't even getting a review back, it used to upset me greatly. So I've really worked on that.“
“One of the underlying key elements of emotional intelligence is empathy. And the reason why I focus on it is it was this skill that gave me the most trouble and also gave me the biggest bang for my buck.”
“Sympathy and empathy are often confused, but sympathy is I feel bad for you [meanwhile] empathy is I feel with you. So sympathy can actually make someone feel more alone with empathy makes us more connected.”
“Sympathy is a disconnecting thing. Empathy is a connecting thing. And if you can just even keep that in your mind when you're starting out on this journey, that would be super valuable.”
“My personal tips is even if you don't know what to do, stop and listen and just show up. You will mess up. But just keep practicing and circle back.“
Links
Dr. Brene Brown’s work on empathy: brenebrown.com
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